Friday, March 23, 2012

Getting Ready for Another Little One

So there are about 78 days until this little baby boy that's growing inside of me is due to arrive. We have just about nothing ready for him. His room is still the guest room, we've recently purchased one boy's outfit from Target, and today we decided that his name will be Jackson. I can't be more excited to meet him. I wonder if this baby will look like me because Addy is the spitting image of her dad and I'm not really even sure we're related! I can picture him having brown eyes and light brown hair, which is half way to looking like me :)

I still have a huge list of things to do to get ready for his arrival! I know if I could spend a little more time on Pinterest then maybe I'll get more inspired.
I want to get his room started but have no clue where to begin! I'm thinking something earthy for the decor. My husband really wants to do a Where the Wild Things Are theme, and since I paint (or at least used to) and painted a mural in our daughter's room, he wants me to paint one in Jackson's room too. That doesn't interest me at all right now.
I'm not sure what the second pregnancy is supposed to be like, but I feel a little bit guilty that I haven't put a lot of thought into his arrival until just recently. If it wasn't for my incredibly large stomache and the fact that I can't drink caffeine, then I'm pretty sure I would have forgotten I was pregnant for the most part. Is that normal? But now I'm the opposite! I am beginning to worry. I want to meet him so badly that I can't help but think those horrible thoughts of "what if?"
Not a day goes by where I don't thank God for my precious daughter Adelaide. I know that life would be incredibly different without her. I know that as soon as I hold Jackson in my arms I will feel the same way with him too.
I was listening to the radio 2 days ago and they played a clip of Steven Curtis Chapman talking about losing his daughter. He said that he went through a realization that this is not our home and he will get to see his little girl again. And he said that he missed her so much and couldn't wait to meet her in heaven.
I've heard the story a lot, and yet when he said how much he missed her I just started to cry. I couldn't imagine not being able to see Addy again, or hold her, or watch her sleep, or hear her voice, or her funny laugh. I don't ever, ever want to think about that, but as a mother I guess it's part of the package. The worry and the fear comes naturally. And I know that it's our job to look towards God and know that He is in control.
Last week at church, the pastor talked a lot about how God instructs us to not be afraid.

I've realized that there are a lot of things that come naturally to us, like worrying, sin, selfishness, etc... and that's why there is so much in the bible to help us overcome those feelings and to be able to live the life that we are meant to live. I figure why would we be encouraged to only love those that love us when that comes naturally, we are encouraged to do what comes unnaturally. To love our enemies.
So I guess the same goes for moms and their kids. Why would God tell us, so often in the bible not to worry or have fear? Because He knows that it is a natural instinct that we have inside of us. It is something that we will all do at some point in our lives, and He wants to give us hope. 
I've read about Michelle Duggar's pregnancy that was lost. It was a little girl. I just can't help but let my heart break. Because, although I haven't experienced it, I know as a mother that there is a pain that inside of her that can't be explained.
This life is so incredibly short, and one day when I'm standing with God, I will see that there is a bigger and better place than I could ever have imagined! 
So aside from the worry, I am filled with excitement. I have so much joy and feel the love of the Lord. I know that I have already been blessed with so, so much more than I ever deserve and instead of wondering "why?" I am going to look to God for the next steps. I will continue to follow His lead and know that I don't have to fear because He is in control and not me. I can't wait to meet little Jackson and hear his cry. I wonder if he will be as active as he is in my belly? (Which is WAY more active than Addy ever was!) But until I meet him, I will patiently wait and do my best to prepare his home.


  1. Good blog post! I'm expecting baby #3 in September and I've been worrying so much that I haven't really enjoyed my pregnancy so far. Our tiny two bedroom apartment is much too small for a family of 5 and my home based business, but finding a 3 bedroom apartment at a price we can afford is proving to be hard. I know I need to let go of the worry and fear that things won't work out and let God handle it, but it's been a hard thing to remember.
    As far as the second baby goes, I didn't really do much to prepare for my son's birth until later in the pregnancy either. I think it had something to do with having done the whole thing before and knowing it would be just fine. And, it helped that my sister was going to let me use all of her boy stuff since she was having a girl (which as it turned out WAS a boy so less than a week before my due date, she had to take EVERYTHING back, lol) One thing I wish someone had told me was that there are growing pains when you add another child to the mix.

  2. Thanks for this post! I've been worrying a lot lately, but for different reasons I think. My husband just started a new job in law enforcement and lately I have crazy nightmares and stuff, and this is going to sound insane... But dreams/ worries about the world ending. haha.

    But the scriptures you pointed out are so true! We don't need to worry.

    I feel like I want to start planning/making a room for my second child NOW because it will take twice as long as it did with J, with another little one running around. haha. Still working on convincing my husband though, hoping he'll give in soon ;)