So we are getting ready for Addy's birthday party this weekend and I'm getting so excited! It has been the best, the hardest, the quickest, and the longest year of my life!
The best year because I never knew that there was a love that could exist like this. I thank God every day for entrusting me and my husband with this amazing, precious little girl. There is nothing in the world that I could ever do that could express my gratitude for her. She brings a smile to my face every day when I wake up and go into her room and am greeted by a high pitched "HI" and the biggest smile ever. When she says "mama" it melts my heart! And if it's an off day where she just might fall asleep in my arms (only happens once in a great while), well that is one of the very best feelings in the world!
It has been the hardest year of my life because I didn't realize the work that goes into raising and caring for a baby. I learn something new every day, and just when I think I've mastered something, a new challenge appears before I can blink. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.... well maybe I'd trade it temporarily for a nap :)
The time has flown by so fast!! This has definitely been, in some ways, the quickest flying year yet. I can distinctly remember the night that I took a pregnancy test and found out that I was pregnant. I remember the exact feeling I had, I remember what I was wearing, I remember looking at the test about 400 times in one night, and I remember thinking that it would be FOREVER before I would ever get to meet the little sprout growing inside of me. It seemed so surreal that I kept thinking that it was never really going to happen. I just couldn't picture it. I was ecstatic beyond belief but couldn't believe that if was real! I remember every bit of the 'all natural', full of pain, labor and delivery. I remember holding her all day long for about the first month because I knew she would be growing up so fast and I wanted to take in every moment I could with her. And I remember every time she learned something new, or developed a new skill I was thrilled and a little bit heart broken knowing that she would never be this way again. She was going to keep on learning new things and getting bigger and those days of sitting on the couch with her in my arms from the moment I woke up until my husband got home from work would be a distant memory.
At the same time, it has seemed like the longest year of my life because as I think of any memory from my past, the first thing that pops into my mind was 'where was Addy that night?' - oh yah, she didn't even exist yet! When I say something about my old routines like the gym, tanning, movie theater nights..etc. I always wonder where my daughter was that night. Once I realize that she wasn't a part of that time, I think to myself 'now I know what people meant when they would say to enjoy this time and to take lots of naps..!' You never understand that at the time, but I think that everyone with kids has that moment of "Oh! Now I know what they meant!"
I am so proud to be the mom of such an incredible little girl! Just last week at church we dropped of Adelaide in the nursery (where there are hundreds of kids) and the childcare girls in Addy's room all said that she is the baby that they all fight over. They have to take turns because they all want a chance to get to play with her. I know I am bias but it feels really good to hear that other people see the amazing love and personality that God has already instilled in her. I know that God has plans for her life and I pray that I am able to guide her down the right path for as long as I can.