"You're gonna have to do this standing up!"

The arrival of Jackson Dane Nelson was already exactly 5 weeks ago!

I feel like he was born yesterday (but then again, I feel like Addy was born yesterday too.)

I am going to have to jump between memories of my labor and delivery with Adelaide and Jackson because they were so different that I can't tell Jackson's story without letting you know about my experience before his.

It was the morning of June 13th, a Wednesday, and I was up early like every morning for about a month because I was so uncomfortable sleeping.  We had a midwife appointment scheduled for that morning (I don't remember the time) but I know I was hoping that he would have been born before that appointment. My due date was the 11th and with Addy I was 5 days early. I also had strong, painful contractions with Addy for about 3 weeks prior to delivering where as this time I didn't have any leading up to labor. So when contractions started I wasn't sure if it was labor or if it was beginning the weeks of contractions.

So I called the midwives and they decided to come to us that morning. 

Butch (my husband) stayed home from work, and we all were just hanging out, watching movies and talking.  I remember laughing because Addy was going through a Winnie the Pooh phase and one of my midwives is named Robin and she kept caller her Christopher Robin! It was very cute!  While my contractions were extremely painful, in between it felt like I wasn't in labor at all.  It was very different to me and I kept thinking that I was overreacting and it wasn't real labor.

It was when we were all watching the movie Tangled in the living room and I was on my own couch having really, really painful contractions and almost sleeping between them, that I started thinking "Oh my, this is much more painful than I remembered it! I don't know if I can really do this again!"  Well shortly after, my contractions started to spread out and I asked if I should walk around because I thought that labor may have stopped.  So I walked around our island in the kitchen and got through my contractions either leaning on the island or on Butch.  I remember UPS made a delivery as well as the regular mail and I wanted to open the packages because if they were gifts for Jackson I though that would get me excited and get my mind off of labor.  Sure enough there was a bear from my aunt Jackie that she had made for Jackson.  That was really cool!

Well shortly after, one of my midwives mentioned that if I planned on having Jackson upstairs then we should head up because the room was all ready.  I was feeling really good in between contractions so I was shocked that it could possibly be getting close.  Also, my water still hadn't broken! With Addy I knew I was in labor because I woke up in the middle of the night when my water broke.

I started pushing a little with some contractions and it helped a little with the pain but I didn't feel like they were doing anything.  I had to go pee a few times and each time before I walked into the bathroom I would say something like "I'll be out in a minute... famous last words ha?!" Basically always joking that because I had a fear of having him in the bathroom that it was just going to happen in there. Then I mentioned that I had to go pee so my midwife suggested I wait for a contraction while on the toilet and try and get my water to break since I'll be sitting up and it would be easier.  Sure enough, I waited for a contraction and BOOM! My water exploded in the toilet! We were all kind of laughing! I was still in the bathroom by myself and could hear my husband and the midwives just talking casually and chit-chatting and I yelled out that I was going to wait for one more contraction so that I could try and push him down lower. 

Well that contraction came and I felt him move down... but it didn't stop.  I felt his head start to come out.  The contraction was so strong and wouldn't let up so I had to keep on pushing! I yelled "I think he's coming!!" The midwives ran in (there were 2 midwives and an intern) and Robin yells "Butch, you're gonna want to come in here, she's gonna have the baby in here!"

They asked if I could move back to the bedroom and I could barely stop pushing to answer No.  So they said I was going to have to do this standing up!

STANDING UP?!!! Are you kidding me?! My midwife, Connie, was holding me up under my left arm and there was no room for Butch in the bathroom so he jumped up on the counter and held me up from my right arm (I didn't know he was on the counter until talking after).

I just remember thinking with each push that if I was able to take a breath I would be bawling my eyes out saying that I couldn't do it anymore! I needed to take a break but that contraction just kept on coming. My legs were shaking uncontrollably and I wanted so badly to give up, but I kept thinking about how I was going to meet Jackson any second, and I just kept pushing and pushing.

So Jackson was born right there in the bathroom, with me standing up, and in one HUGE and PAINFUL contraction.

As soon as he came I sat back on the toilet and held him in my arms in absolute amazement.  Just an hour ago I was questioning whether or not I was really in labor and now I was holding this beautiful little baby in my arms. It was so amazing!

Right after I was telling Butch that we would have to adopt the rest because that was traumatizing and so much more painful than I ever remembered it being.  Then a few hours passed and I was in tears telling him that I couldn't wait to have more!

I felt so much love for this new little baby boy and couldn't believe that life could be so good and God would choose to bless me so much!

Labor ended up being 6 1/2 hours long which wasn't bad at all, it really flew by! I would do it all again in a heart beat!  Jackson is such a blessing! I love every little thing about him! He makes me feel like a new mom all over again! I love him with all of my heart and I am so thankful for this family that I have!

Butch's grandma (Adelaide and Jackson's great grandma) was holding him saying that she remembers holding her grandkids in her arms the same way as if it were yesterday.  She was saying how fast it all goes by, and I try to keep that in my mind and in my heart when I'm spending each day with these babies of mine.  I already feel like Addy is growing up SOOOO fast and to think that one day they will both find their spouses and get married and leave our home... oh it definitely brings me to tears!

These days, these moments of changing diapers, these hugs and kisses, these baby smells... will be forever savored in my memory!